Cool / Uncool

Here’s a little theory I’ve been developing for a while. It all started less than 2 years ago with the help from a friend or two. It’s a work progress…

Cool/Uncool Identity Theory

In everyone’s own perspective, everything in the known universe can be defined and broken down into two categories. Cool and Uncool. They can be developed and processed into a series of things I like to call Coolness Identities. But in order to walk, we must first learn crawl. 

Examples:

• James Brown = Cool

• Adolph Hitler = Uncool

• Pop Rocks Candy = Cool

• A punch in the face = Uncool

This is what I call the Coolness Definition. It is when the very basic known truths and opinions are wildly shared by the masses. In some cases stereotypes apply here too. 

Now, everyone can agree that there are things in this world that can’t be so simply defined, right? That’s when Coolness Correction takes play. Things that were once “Cool”, but not anymore, would be “Cool-Uncool”. 

Examples:

• Popped Collars = Cool-Uncool

• the saying “Sike” = Cool-Uncool

Ouch! Why is this so? Because this is were things had high favor once, but then faded in time or the Supply and Demand of Coolness lowered.

Wait. What the crap is Supply and Demand of Coolness? It’s like regular Supply and Demand only with Coolness instead of capital.

Now what if it is reversed? Uncool becomes worthy of Cool. This is Uncool-Cool.

Examples: 

• Math Rock = Uncool-Cool

• Vintage Station Wagons = Uncool-Cool

*Most things Independent or counter culture aim to be this Coolness Identity (at least for a short while…)

Then there is the final types, which a third Coolness is added. This is the Coolness Counter Correction. “Cool-Uncool-Cool” and “Uncool-Cool-Uncool”

Examples:

• Cassette tapes = Cool-Uncool-Cool

• Mullets = Cool-Uncool-Cool

• 80’s Fashion = Cool-Uncool-Cool

• Betty White = Cool-Uncool-Cool

Most of the things in this category, are usually appreciated for its absurdity or things that have comebacks.

And then the Uncool-Cool-Uncool

Examples:

• Hot Topic = Uncool-Cool-Uncool

• Napoleon Dynamite quotes = Uncool-Cool-Uncool

• Parkour = Uncool-Cool-Uncool

• Blogging - Uncool-Cool-Uncool

These things are the Overkill Coolness Identities. 

In Final, There are six different types of coolness.

1. Cool

2. Uncool

3. Cool-uncool

4. Uncool-cool

5. Cool-uncool-cool

6. Uncool-cool-Uncool

(x) = Definition —-> Correction —-> Counter Correction

All of these Coolness Identities are really just brake downs of the Ultimate Coolness Identities which are Cool and Uncool. These can be found out by looking at the last variable in the equation.

Now, Let us brake down one equation:

Chuck NoNorris = Cool-Uncool-Cool

I believe Chuck Norris = Cool-Uncool-Cool

Coolness Definition = Cool. Because he’s a sweet kicking boxing Champion, and a Christian actor with beard.

Coolness Correction = Uncool. His show was really bad. Too many infomercials too.

Coolness Counter Correction = His show was so bad it was funny, Chuck Norris facts, etc.

Coolness Ultimate Identity = COOL!

So that is my Cool/Uncool Identity Theory. I hope you all use it your daily lives. And spread the jolly word of my cool teachings.